So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize