so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
