Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
