I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize