we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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