dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
