where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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