therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I understand Curling. That high.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
