I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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