He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
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