Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
