Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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