And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
