I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
