the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
