If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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