My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
