took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
