you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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