I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
