He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
