And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
