Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
