I could have mohawked her pubes.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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