Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
