it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
