Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
