Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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