I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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