I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
