i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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