I looked at my own cervix.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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