She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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