i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
