I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize