I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
