I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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