I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
