dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The beer is more important than you right now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
