How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
