I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
