I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
