It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
