I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
