sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The Olympian is in my bed
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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