A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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