Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
