Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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