I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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