he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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