So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
