Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
