your thong is hanging out like whoa
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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