I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
