So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
