you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize