he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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