He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
