i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
