Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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