In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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