That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
