WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize